Getting Out of Survival Mode

Hiiiii friends!! I have missed you all, I have been away for a reason...I will share what I have been up to at a later time🫣I want you all to know that when I am sharing my writing, it is truly from my lived experiences. Life can be hard, but it can also be beautiful, during hard times. I am sharing how I navigate my life, the things that have and are working for me. I do not know if I will get back to publishing every two weeks yet, but I really wanted to share this...so lets get to it!!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!! I hope you all were celebrated and loved on a little extra on our special day🌸🌺🌼🌷🪻🌹💐

Now, time to get to the topic:)

Oh, sweet surrender!! For a long time, I didn’t even realize I was in survival mode.

I thought I was just being responsible. Staying on top of things. Making sure everything was handled. However, if I’m being honest, a lot of that “responsibility” looked like constantly being in motion. Always working on a to-do list. Always finding something else to fix, improve, or complete. I wasn’t allowing my body or my mind to truly rest.

I’ve come to understand something about that…

That’s not peace or SURRENDER. That’s not even productivity at its healthiest.

That’s survival mode.

It’s that constant need to stay ahead so nothing catches you off guard. It’s moving from task to task without ever really exhaling. It’s trying to control outcomes instead of trusting God’s timing. I was in a constant fight-or-flight, always exhausted, but still always doing something. Even in moments that were good, I found myself bracing for something to go wrong. In friendships, I wasn’t always fully present because a part of me was quietly preparing for disappointment.

In relationships, I questioned things more than I trusted them. Honestly…I didn’t always trust myself either. I literally questioned everything. I had the need to control everything, because of course if I had my hands on it, I couldn't fail...WRONG

So I tried to control what I could.

Over-thinking was an understatement. I tried to perfect everything. I made sure I stayed “ahead” so nothing could catch me off guard. I was tired, in every meaning of the word.

When Protection Becomes a Pattern

What I’ve come to understand is that survival mode doesn’t come from nowhere.

It usually comes from experiences that taught you to stay alert. To be careful. To protect yourself. (I thought about it, and asked myself...what are you even trying to protect yourself from...lived experiences??). The problem was, what I felt like was protecting me, eventually started to limit me. I was no longer just being aware, I was constantly on edge. Which made it hard for me to fully experience joy. Hard to relax. Hard to trust what felt good when it showed up. Hard to deal with, and I started pushing people and opportunities away. Deep down, I never wanted things to be so perfect that there was no room left for growth, and I didn't want people around who were afraid to be authentic...So I asked God for help...Do you know He had been waiting on me!! All I had to do was ask💖

Learning to Let Go: Getting Out of Survival Mode

Getting out of survival mode isn’t something that happens overnight.

It’s a process. One of the biggest parts of that process, for me, has been forgiveness. Forgiving the people I felt hurt me. Knowing that the things I thought I needed that I didn't receive were for a reason. Last but most importantly, forgiving myself. I forgave myself for the things I allowed, for the times I stayed too long, for the moments I ignored what I knew deep down, and for not knowing. This is my first time with this living process LOL I gave myself grace.

That part matters.

Carrying resentment, whether it’s toward others or yourself, keeps your body in a constant state of tension. But when you begin to release it…

Something shifts✨

A New Way Forward

I’m still learning.

Still growing. Still catching myself when old patterns try to show up.

But now, I pause differently. I check in with myself. I ask myself, “Am I moving in peace…or am I moving in fear?” That question alone has changed so much for me.

I’m learning to trust myself more. To be present in moments that are good without bracing for what could go wrong. To receive love without overanalyzing it. To let things be…without trying to control every outcome. Most importantly, I’m learning how to rest. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally (GAME CHANGER). Rest is not falling behind, rest is trust. It’s me saying, “God, I don’t have to hold everything together…because You already are.”

He goes before us, so what is suppose to be...simply is. I don't know how that makes you feel, but I find a peace and I feel joy knowing that I can live in the moment, because no matter what I am loved and protected. A FULL COVERING that only He can provide!!

A Gentle Reminder

Let me lovingly say this…because I’ve had to say it to myself too.

You say you want softness. You say you want alignment. You say you want peace.

Are you willing to release control? I mean take your hands completely off of "it"...and hand "it" over to God.

Are you willing to let go of the friendships that don’t feel right anymore? Are you willing to stop holding on to people who aren’t aligned with who you’re becoming? Are you willing to allow a healthy man to lead without trying to control every step? Sometimes we ask God for a softer life…but we hold on tightly to the very things that keep us in survival mode.

It’s not always easy to admit, but it’s necessary, and a great starting point.

Three Simple Ways to Start Releasing Control

Let’s make this practical.

I know “letting go” sounds good…but what does it actually look like?

1. Pause and Ask Yourself: “What Am I Trying to Control Right Now?”

In moments where you feel overwhelmed, anxious, or tense...pause.

Take a breath and ask yourself:

“What am I trying to control right now?”

Is it an outcome? Another person? A timeline?

Now here’s the truth…those were trick questions😉

You don’t have control over any of those things.

So if you attempted to answer any of those questions, that’s your confirmation.

It’s something you need to release and allow God to handle.

That’s what surrender looks like.

Not giving up…but letting go of what was never yours to carry in the first place.

2. Give Yourself Permission to Rest Without Guilt

Now this part…this is all you.

Sometimes control shows up as constant movement.

Always doing. Always fixing. Always staying busy.

Try this instead:

Take a break without explaining it. Sit down without earning it. Rest your mind without guilt.

Rest is not you falling behind. It’s you trusting that everything doesn’t depend on you. For me, rest is how I show gratitude, and is a physical way of me showing God that I trust Him.

3. Pay Attention to Your Environment

Another powerful way to surrender is by being honest about your environment and the people around you. Who you’re connected to matters more than we sometimes want to admit. The conversations you entertain. The energy you’re around. The perspectives you constantly hear. All of it shapes how you think, how you feel, and how you move. We often hear about how the wrong people can negatively affect your life, and that’s true. The opposite is just as powerful. The right people can shift everything. Being around people who are positive, grounded, and intentional can change how you see yourself and your future. It reminds you of what’s possible. This doesn’t mean everyone has to have the exact same vision as you, but there should be alignment in direction.

Be around people who:

• Are growing

• Have vision for their lives

• Speak life, not negativity

• Choose accountability over judgment

• Focus on building, not gossiping

When you’re surrounded by that kind of energy, it becomes easier to choose peace. Easier to stay grounded. Easier to see the good…even when things aren’t perfect. That, in itself, is a form of surrender. You’re no longer trying to fight your environment. You’re choosing one that supports the life you’re asking God for. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ASK...You're not waiting on Him, He's waiting on you🙌🏽

Before You Read the Truths Below…Pause for a Moment 🤍

I want you to do something with me.

Unclench your jaw. (I knew it was clenched)

Relax your shoulders.

Hold your head up.

Now take a deep breath in…and slowly breathe out.

Again.

Deep breath in…and slowly breathe out.

For the next minute, every time you exhale, I want you to release one negative thought you had today.

The fear. The pressure. The overthinking. The self-doubt. The need to control everything.

Release it.

Every time you breathe in, replace it with what is actually true.

Peace. Safety. Worthiness. Joy. Trust. Grace.

Breathe slowly...controlled and slow

You are not behind. You are not failing. You are not carrying this alone.

Now…read the truths below.

Truths to Help You Surrender ✨

✨ I do not have to control everything to be safe.

✨ Resting does not make me lazy, it means I trust God enough to pause.

✨ I release the pressure to perfect everything.

✨ I deserve friendships, relationships, and environments that feel peaceful and aligned.

✨ I trust myself to make healthy decisions for my life.

✨ What is meant for me will not require me to abandon myself to keep it.

✨ God is already ahead of me. I can breathe, soften, and trust Him.

Closing Prayer 🙏🏽

God, thank You for being patient with me while I learn how to soften. Thank You for protecting me even in the seasons where I felt like I had to protect myself from everything and everyone. Help me release the need to control outcomes, people, and timelines that were never mine to carry in the first place. Teach me how to truly rest. Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Help me recognize when I’m operating from fear instead of faith. Surround me with people who are aligned, grounded, positive, and growing. Give me the wisdom to release environments, habits, and relationships that keep me stuck in survival mode. When life feels uncertain, remind me that surrender is not weakness…it is trust and gratitude. I trust that what You have for me will never require me to live in constant fear, tension, or exhaustion. Thank You for peace. Thank You for growth. Thank You for grace.

In Jesus’ Mighty Name, WE PRAY...Amen 🤍✨

Thank you for sharing this space with me today.

You deserve to laugh, smile and love...no matter what is going on around you!!! Keep going🌻

Sending you all Soft and Luxxe love and abundance.

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Chasing the sun...wearing my Luxxe Curl unit